Innings of Love

In daylights, in sunsets
In midnights, in cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure...
An inning in a game?

With an AL record-breaking 12 runs before recording an out is how, we musical-theater-loving nancies--I mean YOU! Not "we"! Just you! Ha-ha, what a weird typo!

I only like sports and I therefore have no idea from what fabulous stage play are the above lyrics. And I'm definitely NOT humming the tune associated with them as I write this.

"BOS! TON! SU-aaah, We Probably Should've Started This Chant Earlier."

I dislike the "[OPPOSING TEAM] SUCK[S]!" chant that is so prevalent at Major League Baseball games. It's crass, it's unoriginal, and--because its popularity can be directly traced to "YANKEES SUCK!"--I find it particularly embarrassing as a Red Sox fan. My enjoyment of it only ever takes place retroactively--and then only ironically--after its occurrence has been hilariously ill-timed.

Pay close attention to the first second of audio in the following clip:



What you've got there is manna from heaven against uncreative sports fans.

Grow Up, CBS SportsLine.

Seriously. Grow up.