Who Will I Not Watch on the Show That I've Never Watched Now?

In news that will no doubt stun those who like things that are not at all entertaining in any capacity conceivable to man, Rosie O'Donnell has announced that she will be leaving "The View" in June.

The official word on Rosie's departure appears to be that she is exiting of her own volition; however, her headline-grabbing feud with Donald Trump as well as her more recent public dig at Rupert Murdoch at the New York Women in Communication awards luncheon (which compelled "The View" queen bee Barbara Walters to state that she was "very fond of" Murdoch (and, hey--who isn't?) will doubtlessly lead many to suspect that O'Donnell was forced off the show.

Not me, though. I don't care enough to have an opinion. I'm into television shows that aren't a dire threat to humanity.

Lidle Shop of Horrors

You're a millionaire dentist whose home was destroyed as the result of a plane crash whose cause has yet to be determined but in which the two men on board the small aircraft were killed. What do you do?

If you answered "sue the widow of the richer of the two men", congratulations! You're Dr. Lawrence Rosenthal (and a dick)!

Apparently, being the kindhearted dentist to such low-income clients as Donald Trump, Bruce Springsteen and Catherine Zeta-Jones doesn't bring in quite enough cheddar to rent an apartment while the one that you own on the Upper East Side of Manhattan--itself worth several millions of dollars--is being repaired. That's been the situation for Rosenthal since October 11, when a Cirrus SR-20 carrying New York Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle and flight instructor Tyler Stanger crashed into his building, killing both men inside the plane.

The National Transportation Safety Board was unable to determine which of them was actually piloting the aircraft at the time of the accident, so it's a lucky break for Stanger's family that it was the famous baseball player and not Stanger who happened to have owned the plane...because if it were the other way around, Rosenthal would surely have just as quickly slapped them with a $7 million lawsuit. After all, there's absolutely no chance that a dentist who is already suing another public figure for $5 million could be greedy or unscrupulous.

Somewhere in heaven above him, his mama's proud of him.

Spoiled Billionaire Heiress Nothing Like That Other Spoiled Billionaire Hereiss, Says Spoiled Billionaire Heiress in Question

If you think that Ivanka Trump is in any way similar to Paris Hilton, you must be a dumb poor person. MSNBC.com is reporting the 25-year-old former model has had just about enough of being compared to the 26-year-old celebutard nonpareil, claiming that--unlike Paris--she works long hours (for her father Donald Trump) and bought her house (from her father Donald Trump).

That's all the evidence I need to know that Ivanka doesn't live with a sense of entitlement, for it clearly illustrates that the plucky, do-it-herself gal (and star of the documentary Born Rich) barely even associates with her progenitor. When she says, "it was always made very clear to me that things wouldn’t just be given to me," I believe her.

That $1.5 million condo at the Trump Park Avenue, for example? She earned it.