The Boston Celtics Had Seen the Future

And it was a four-game sweep at the hand of the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Understandably, the Celtics opted to turn that privilege over to the Orlando Magic.

UPDATE: Replace "Cleveland Cavaliers" with "Los Angeles Lakers", subtract one win, and quadruple my resentment over the fact that the Celtics were eliminated by that Mickey-Mouse organization.

Fruity Culpa

When the Boston Celtics signed Stephon Marbury back in February, I--like many of the team's fans--was less than complimentary of the troubled player.

Having seen Marbury spark yet another ridiculous Celtics comeback in the fourth quarter on Tuesday, I temporarily amend my description of him as "a poisonous lunatic" to "a burst of fruit flavor".

(Though he's probably still a lunatic.)

[ESPN]

Large Infant Inspires Radio Announcer to Boast to Mother About Eating Small Dog

When the Boston Celtics' Glen "Big Baby" Davis hit a 20-footer at the last second to defeat the Orlando Magic and tie the series on Sunday, that was crazy.

Little did I or anyone else watching the game on TV know at the time, however, that the play's level of insanity was nearly immediately challenged by WEEI-Boston radio broadcaster Cedric Maxwell, who hysterically exclaimed:

"That is how ya do it, big fella! You GO GET IT! It's ON THE LINE! Mama, I'm coming to see ya, somebody get me a napkin--'cause this puppy is OVER!"

The "napkin" part I kind of get, as it references a phrase previously coined by Maxwell (last quote)...but everything else raises questions about Maxwell's personal life whose answers might be too disturbing to explore...

Saturday Was About Sucking. Monday Was About Sucking Less.

That game-winning three-pointer by Ray Allen was doubtlessly exciting, but--given how crappily the Celtics played in the previous game against the Bulls--I wouldn't be a Boston sports fan if I weren't still quite worried about the Celtics' chances to make it out of the series and have an opportunity to get murdered by Orlando or--with a little bit of luck--Cleveland.