Boo! (Also: Booo.)

Don't find a still image of a misspelled word particularly frightening?

What if I told you it was taken from a nationally broadcast television commercial made by...a viable candidate for President!!

Happy Halluhwein!

There Can Only Be Zero Excuses for Not Dressing Them in Regular Shirts

I'm as excited as the next guy that the Celtics and the Lakers are once again facing off in the NBA Finals after 21 years (I'm especially excited that the Celtics gained a 2-0 series lead on Sunday). I'm excited that Larry Bird and Magic Johnson--the two players who, to anyone from my generation, define the Boston-L.A. rivalry--are on board the promotional train. But somehow, these two exciting events have coalesced to form something I'm very much not excited about:

Overweight middle-aged men in tank tops.

What gives, NBA? Were you afraid that people might not recognize Bird and Magic out of the uniforms that they haven't worn in about two decades? If so, your plan backfired. My initial reaction upon seeing the above commercial was: "Put a shirt on, Dad"...followed by: "You, too, my dad's black friend."

(...followed by: "Hey, my dad has a black friend! The times, they are a-changin'!")

Harvey Keitel Scares Me, Sells Gatorade

It's nice to know that enough time has passed since the last time Harvey Keitel worked with Martin Scorsese that he is currently not above propagating Italian-American stereotypes in order to hawk soft drinks. Everybody's gotta work.

That being said, Keitel certainly is in full-on creepy old guy mode in Gatorade's newest commercial. The way I see it, Derek Jeter isn't so much compelled to run towards second base as he is to run away from Harvey. (If Jeter's the go-getter this advertisement might have us believe he is, why wasn't he able to stop the Red Sox from sweeping the Yankees in historic fashion over the weekend? Maybe he should have volunteered to pitch a few innings.) But my favorite aspect of the spot is that the Angels' John Lackey had no problem participating in a nationally-broadcast television commercial in which he is referred to as a "schmendrick". And Anaheim* fans continue to wonder why their team gets no respect.

(*That's right--just plain, soulless Anaheim, not "Los Angeles of Anaheim". One team can't be from two different cities that are 30 miles apart from each other, thank you very much.)

Colts' Backup QB Seeks to Back Up Peyton Manning in Additional Careers

You would think that with all the time the Indianapolis Colts' backup quarterback Jim Sorgi has to spend on the bench (read: the entire season), he might get a little recreational reading done, and at some point he might have learned the definition of the word "irony". Apparently, though, he has not.

Capitalizing on a comment he made during an interview over Super Bowl weekend where he likened himself to the Maytag repairman ("the guy bored out of my mind waiting for something to do"), on Tuesday Sorgi actually auditioned to play the iconic washer-dryer advertising character [scroll down to the last four paragraphs] as part of a promotional deal with Whirlpool (who owns Maytag).

One can only assume from this news that, in addition to lacking a dictionary, Sorgi does not own a television set. Otherwise, during his three-year tenure in the NFL, he would have seen his on-field superior appearing in just about every commercial ever.

With Peyton Manning completely dominating the field of athlete pitchmen, there's no room for any other starting quarterbacks--never mind his own backup. Jim Sorgi cannot surpass Manning in his third-greatest talent (playing football) or his second (endlessly whoring himself out for money)...but perhaps these facts are just what Sorgi will need to carve out a career for himself in the very realm where Peyton Manning's greatest strength lies: blaming his teammates for his failures. Now that would be ironic.

[Ed. note: Yeah, so I just referenced that last link six posts ago. So what? Tom Brady rules!]