Let's Stay Friends 4-EVA! (Or Until the First One of Us Explodes)

ABC News has exclusively obtained footage of an alleged Taliban "graduation" ceremony that was captured by a Pakistani journalist on June 9. The group of 300-some odd "graduates", which included boys as young as 12, was reportedly being dispersed to carry out attacks in the United States, Canada, Great Britain and Germany. But I think I speak for everyone when I ask the really important question:

Did they play that song by Vitamin C?

The leader of the team assigned to attack Great Britain, who was thoughtful enough to speak in English, had this to say to the assembled crowd:

"So let me say something about why we are going, along with my team, for a suicide attack in Britain. Whether my colleagues, companions and Muslim brothers die today or tonight, every drop of our blood will invigorate the Muslim (unintelligible)."

You've got to give him some amount of credit: at least that was more original than "San Dimas High School football RULES!"

The Australian Prime Minister is a Purple Archmage*

In a nationally (his nation, not ours) televised interview on Sunday, Australian Prime Minister John Howard said that al-Qaida leaders in Iraq should "be praying as many times as possible for a victory, not only for [Barack] Obama but also for the Democrats" in the 2008 U.S. presidential elections.

When Howard's opponent for a fifth term, Labor candidate Kevin Rudd (who's pulling away from Howard in the latest opinion poll, a fact some are theorizing is motivating the the current PM to shoot his mouth off) pointed out that Howard's comments could harm Australia's future with a possible Democratic U.S. administration, the conservative Howard--a steadfast supporter of George W. Bush in the Iraq War--did not waiver in his douchebaggery, telling Parliament at Canberra, "I'm doing nothing of the kind. I don't retract anything I said."

Way to go, John...you've proven that you really are a fan of George W. Bush in that you've begun modeling your behavior after his in three easy steps: (1) say things that make you obstinate buffoon, then when (2) people point out that you're acting like an obstinate buffoon, giving you an opportunity to amend your stance, (3) act like even more of an obstinate buffoon until the entire world has turned against you.

Then you'll have them right where you want them.


*"Purple archmage" is Australian for "dick".