You Can't Have Your Offensively-Named Child and Eat His Cake Too

Hillbilly-hipster parents Heath and Deborah Campbell are so hillbilly-hip that they named their son "Adolf Hitler" and now they're hillbilly-hipster-mad that a New Jersey ShopRite refused to put the three-year-old's name on a birthday cake--even without the swastika that they had previously requested.

Mr. Campbell insists that he named his son after das Führer not because he's racist, but because "he liked the name". He goes on to support this iron-clad defense by pointing out that he allows people of races other than the master one into his home (also populated by his daughters, "JoyceLynn Aryan Nation" and "Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie") and that he wouldn't "really care" if his son grew up to hang out with black people.

He wouldn't really care? How progressive. The latter, hypothetical situation is somewhat unlikely, however...given that the kid's freaking name is Adolf Hitler.