Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Metroville's Movie Corner: Decipher the Dialogue in the Bootleg 'Expendables' Trailer

I count 23 instances of attempts at spoken English in the bootleg trailer for The Expendables (seen below); following it are my results at translating them, sorted chronologically, along with my best guesses as to what actor is responsible.

(1) "Drop your guns!" - PASS/Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje?

(2) "Fat chance." - Transporter

(3) "whydooyooinssablamma." - Sylvester Stallone

(4) "I kill them ALL! I don't CARE!" - PASS/Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje?

(5) "wunsekkin..." - Sylvester Stallone

(6) "Gettin' a text." - Transporter 2

(7) "skyoodamee?" - Sylvester Stallone

(8) "North thing flower... AH! BLAH!" - PASS/Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje?

(9) "Shift it no!" - PASS/Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje?

(10) "How did two obvious professionals pass right through security?" - Julia Roberts' brother

(11) "Makes we one of 'em." - Dolph Lundgren (aka "Sacrilegious He-Man")

(12) "Bring it, happy feet!" - Sacrilegious He-Man [Ed. note: Hey, I guess he and Sylvester Stallone stayed friends even though he killed Rocky's black friend]

(14) "OF ALL KARMA!" - Sacrilegious He-Man

(15) "Again...the man's name." - The Cable Guy's Eric Roberts

(16) "You are done here!" - PASS [Ed. note: This guy sounds like the guy I thought was (but probably isn't) Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje; ironically, he resembles one of Akinnuoye-Agbaje's fellow 'Oz' cast members, David Zayas]

(17) "I OWN YOU!" - Eric Roberts [Ed. note: He appeared in an episode of 'Oz' as "Richard L'Italien"]

(18) "Who sent you?" - PASS/'Stone Cold' Steve Austin?

(19) "Your hairdresser!" - Sylvester Stallone [Ed. note: If that IS 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin he's talking to, that's superhilarious 'cause 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin is bald]

(20) "We will kill dis American disease!" - PASS/David Zayas?

(21) "What's he sayin'?" - Transporter 3

(22) "He said 'we're dead', wid an accent." - PASS/Tyrese?

(23) "FOOD, DESTRUCTION, FORTUNAYO." - PASS/the bad guy from the Saw movies?

Can you do any better?

(If so, shame on you.)


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