You Guys Read the Internet?

Me too! I even have a blog: [URL NOT FOUND]

You follow professional sports? Me too! I happen to have a preference for Boston-based teams, including (but not limited to) the football squad that recently got their (gorgeous) teeth kicked in by one from New Jersey! (No, not that one--the one with the head coach who mistakenly thinks that he can bury his self-loathing under a pile of fried foods, narcissism and sexual perversion.)

According to the internet, the New [LOCATION PERSISTENTLY UNDEFINED] Jets are the best foot-based sports team ever now and they will never, ever, lose again.

For real! It's on the internet!

Black Saturday

Damn you, National Football League. Damn you to hell.

As a New England Patriots fan, it was painful enough for me when my 11-5 team was inconceivably cockblocked from the playoffs by the busted-ass megalomaniacal quarterback of their division rival. The fact that the 8-8 San Diego Chargers--ever-so-fortunate to exist in a division that is the NFL equivalent of "Introductory Tambourine for Disabled Squirrels"--did make the postseason was salt in the wound. Conceive of that wound being located on your genitals and your genitals being on fire, then you might have an idea of how I felt about the comically-undeserving Chargers facing the despised-Manning-based and despised-in-general Indianapolis Colts in the AFC Wild Card round on Saturday.

Who could I possibly root for? Nobody, that's who. I wanted both teams to lose. Unfortunately, such an outcome is not allowed by the current NFL regulations.

Once the Chargers-Colts game went into overtime, I made the Sophie's Choice to root for Indianapolis. In keeping with my fan-karma this season, San Diego wasted no time in their march to victory.

An 8-8 team has reached the second round of the playoffs, while the 11-5 New England Patriots didn't make it past the regular season. I might not be very good at math, but I sure as hell know injustice when I see it.

Damn you, National Football League. Damn you to hell.

(And, I guess...go Buzzsaw.)

Hypocrisy, Thy Name Bears a Similarity to 'Vagina'

One probably would have to have been following sports extremely closely to have even heard the news, but back in the first week of the NFL season, the New England Patriots were caught illegally videotaping the New York Jets' sideline during a game at the Meadowlands. Jets head coach Eric Mangini--a former protege of Patriots head coach Bill Belichick who pretty much owes his entire career to the man, whom he'd already stabbed in the back by taking the job with New York--reported it to the league; as a result, the Patriots were fined $250,000, Belichick was personally fined $500,000, and (now that they've made the playoffs) the team lost a first-round draft pick for next year.

While the Patriots have gone on to be undefeated thus far this season (handily beating the Jets 38-14 in the 'Spygate' game), the scandal has, for many predisposed to be jealous of New England's spectacularity™ and Tom Brady's handsomeness, given fuel to a belief that the franchise's legacy of three Super Bowl victories in six years is tainted, that--should the team go 16-0 (or 19-0, counting the postseason)--the accomplishment should carry an asterisk in the record books. Jets fans--whose team has been something slightly less than perfect since Week 1--have of course been as vocal in this opinion as anyone.

Perhaps they'll quiet down some, now that Newsday is reporting that the Jets were caught illegally videotaping the Patriots' sideline during a game at Gillette Stadium last year.

Whoops!

On Tuesday night, the Jets admitted that such an incident took place last season, and--even better (or worse, if you're a Jets fan)--a team source claims that it was during a playoff game. (Insanely, a Patriots' source is actually disagreeing with that assertion, claiming that it was a regular-season contest.) Perhaps even more telling is the fact that Patriots didn't say a peep about this matter during the investigation into their own misconduct this year...which sort of pokes some holes in the currently popular belief that they are an ethically questionable organization (or at least more of one than any other NFL team).

With the league watching the Patriots like a hawk since Week 1, there can be no question that no impropriety has taken place during New England's quest for a perfect season, currently at 13 weeks and counting. I doubt anyone's been watching the Jets, though...so the question for Eric Mangini is: How can you cheat all the time and still suck that much?