Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Christmas Came Early for Satan, Y'all

Even though Britney Spears already has two FederSpawn walking the Earth (or at least being dropped on it repeatedly) and a rumored third on the way (courtesy of another high-quality inseminator), the Prince of Darkness apparently wasn't confident enough that their existence, along with that of their parents, would guarantee the End of he's gone and hedged his bets by blessing Britney's 16-year-old sister Jamie Lynn (star of Nickelodeon's "Zoey 101", although probably not anymore) with a country bump all her own.

Who knows what wonderful contributions Jamie Lynn Spears' unborn child will one day bring to the world. Will it cure cancer? Become President? Win so many Nobel Prizes that the Nobel Committee will be compelled to change the award's name to the "Chester Cheetah McWheelie Spears-Aldridge Edible Chocolate Novelty Medal of Excellence" (or perhaps a variation therein)? We'll just have to wait and see.

Right now, the only thing we do know about the kid--if these pictures of 19-year-old father-to-be Casey Aldridge are an accurate depiction of its gene pool--is that it's probably not going to have a forehead.


Adam said...

If you'd just applied yourself, just a little bit, you could have been the father of Jamie Lynn's baby and prevented Satan from laying seed in that oh-so-fertile ground.

Thanks for nothing, Johhny500.

xDashofPanachex said...

You know, after Brit got pregnant, you would've thought somebody could sit down with her younger sister and say "See, this is what you DON'T do..."