Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Ray Allen Overcomes Pod Person Captor, Makes 1st Playoff Appearance

The Boston Celtics' Ray Allen had been performing with such spectacular crapularity through the playoffs that I had begun to suspect one of two things: either (a) my concerns about Allen's age going back to when the Celtics traded for him on draft day 2007 had been vindicated, or (b) he had been kidnapped and replaced by a pod person.

After Monday's 29-point performance by Allen--including a clutch basket with a minute left in the game and 2 deal-sealer free throws--helped propel the Celtics to a 3-2 series lead over the Detroit Pistons in the Eastern Conference Finals, I suspect one of two things: either (a) Ray Allen has discovered the Fountain of Youth, or (b) there's a dead pod person in the trunk of his car.

In any case, somebody has got to talk to Rajon Rondo about those ridiculous teardrop "passes" he's been hurling into the stratosphere with alarming frequency. Are those shot attempts, or does he think the basketball is a weather balloon? NASA should look into that once they've settled the pod people issue.

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