Stupid Nerd Ruins Sports for All Us Awesome Jocks

You hear about that America-hating terrorist foreigner who got to be president on Tuesday--Hussein Mutombo al-Qaida, or whatever his name is? Not only did that Arab Muslim illegally prevent George W. Bush--the greatest president ever 'cause he used to get hammered a lot and I seen pictures of him in a cowboy hat and he don't trust words--from taking his God-given third term, turns out that goddamn Egyptian postponed sport games in the process! 'Merica sport games!

It's bad enough that that smart-talking Negro got his liberal media friends to make that sexy lady who likes guns cry--he had no right to keep us real Americans from exercising our right to watch televised sporting events at their previously-established times. Now how am I supposed to teach my kids to hate those jungle bunnies who dunk too much?

Whole country's going to hell, I tell ya. Turning socialist...or communist...or whatever either of those words mean.