Joakim: Ah, No

Derrick Rose and Ben Gordon are the real deal. Be they members of the Chicago Bulls or another team, we will be seeing one or both of them in the NBA finals sooner than later.

We won't be seeing them this year, of course, because the Boston Celtics--in the deciding game of what might go down as the greatest first-round NBA playoff series in history--finally eliminated the Bulls on Saturday. As a Celtics fan, I am obviously happy about the end result; that I can commend the legitimacy of Rose and Gordon as a fan of the team that bested them ought only increase the assertion's merit.

You know who's a knob, though? That flailing, immature, untested and overrated emotional wreck, Joakim Noah. As a Celtics fan (and a basketball fan in general), I am unrepentantly pleased that I will not have to watch his unearned chest-thumping for the rest of the NBA season. F that crybaby's ass back to the Barber Shop for Wannabe-Hipsters from which he escaped. (It's probably in Florida...or maybe France.)

More of the same goes for Aryan Nation leader Brad Miller: I'm fairly certain that that violent psychopath should be in prison instead of the NBA--or at least in the NHL.

In conclusion: (1) Noah and Miller suck leprechaun cock and deserved to lose; (2) Rose and Gordon are talented basketball players who deserve respect; (3) YAY, CELTICS.

(All told, #3 is my favorite.)