Eli Manning: 'Wait a Minute, I'm Terrible'

Now that that's out of the way, all that remains in the pursuit of NFL justice is a revocation of the Giants' Tecmo Bowl title.

Donovan McNabb Donates Soup, Lies

While appearing at a press conference at the Super Bowl media center Wednesday, where Campbell's soup announced it was donating 1 million cans to food banks nationwide, sometime Philadelphia Eagles quarterback and all-the-time Campbell's soup pitchman Donovan McNabb said he wasn't jealous of the success Jeff Garcia experienced as his injury-necessitated replacement this season. If that's the truth, I will personally eat every last one of those cans.

Sure, Donovan. You're probably happy that a 75-year-old man who couldn't get a roster spot at the start of the season as a backup in Canadian disabled leagues and who looks like a turtle ended up making the job you cry about every year look easy. In fact, you probably have Jeff Garcia posters hanging on your bedroom walls...and those knife slashes ended up in them because you're not jealous.