Do you have a blog? If so, great--your career's going places.
Also if so, are you self-involved? Of course you are; you have a blog.
Even further if so, do you use Google Analytics (or a similar program) to monitor your blog's traffic?
If not, maybe you shouldn't. It's a window into bad things. Bad things like the knowledge that 2 of the whopping 18 visitors (hold your applause) to this site on Saturday accessed it by looking up the phrases "iranianporn child" and "metroville fucking pictures", respectively:
(For the record, there is no child pornography--Iranian or otherwise--to be found on Metroville, but there is this. As for "metroville fucking pictures", your nightmare is as horrible as mine--probably less so, actually.)
I want my blankie, I want my mom, and I want to get the hell off the internet.
(But I won't, because it's there.)