"I've never been drunk in my life," said Paula Abdul, the lady who looks drunk all the time on "American Idol".
So that settles it: it's pills.
"Never," said Paula Abdul--the lady on "American Idol" who always behaves as though she just ate a whole Christmas turkey stuffed with Xanax--in response to her rumored prescription-drug abuse.
Well, I'm stumped.
MC Skat Kat? Coach of the Mighty Ducks? Do you guys have any theories?
Oh, that's right--neither one of you has ever met Paula Abdul, as far as she knows.
The mystery continues...