Julia Child Could Have Easily Killed You with a Pastry Brush

Bobby Flay has grilling skills; Rachel Ray has a contract with Dunkin' Donuts; Emeril Lagasse probably has Robert Urich's autograph. But there's one thing that no living celebrity cook has on the late Julia Child:

None of them was ever a secret agent.

The National Archives has released the previously classified names of nearly 24,000 members of the Office of Strategic Services (OSS), the World War II-era precursor of the CIA...and Julia Child--the chef lady from TV!--is on that list. (Other inconceivables include Chicago White Sox catcher Moe Berg, Police drummer Stewart Copeland's dad and the guy whose life story inspired "Eight Is Enough".)

Take note, Food Network stars. Sure, you might sell a lot of cookbooks...but have you won any wars lately?

I didn't think so.

(You might still get a chance, though, if you're interested.)

The Thing You're Staring At: The Movie

From The Net to Hackers to Pulse, I think we can all agree that movies about the internet are both awesome entertainments and virtual guarantees for box office success. But one thing that's always been missing from the genre is a film that focuses specifically on blogging, arguably the most cinematic activity in which a person can engage.

Thanks to Nora Ephron--living proof that having a hand in one decent romantic comedy equals a free pass for churning out two subsequent decades and counting of soul-deadening claptrap (including her own contribution to the fine canon of films that deal with people sitting in front of computers)--the cavernous void of blog-movies ("bloovies"?) is finally set to be filled with her adaptation of Julie Powell's book Julie and Julia: 365 Days, 524 Recipes, 1 Tiny Apartment Kitchen...in which Meryl Streep will play Julia Child.

While the idea of Meryl Streep playing Julia Child--although not necessarily appealing--is, at worst, strange, and certainly not sphincter-tensing, it appears to have nothing whatsoever to do with blogging. Not so fast. If you merely glance over the above-linked Variety article, you might miss this bone-chilling aspect of the film's plot:

"[The] frustrated temp secretary...chronicles her trials and tribulations in a blog that catches on with the food crowd."

You see, it's not just a movie about cooking. It's a movie about blogging about cooking. If I had to take a shot in the dark, I'd wager that it also might include a few montages set to bouncy music featuring Amy Adams' voiceover saying the things that she is typing while an ever-increasing amount of the aforementioned "food crowd" stare at computer screens in various locations and look amused.

If that prediction hasn't activated your gag reflex, you're probably my mom. Enjoy the movie, Mom!