'Small Wonder' Is Back!

And she got pregnant out of wedlock when she was 17! And she was briefly engaged to the meathead who knocked her up on orders of the GOP in a desperate attempt on their part to blush over the latent hypocrisy of her biological state as it compared to the religious-fanatic, "sex is scary and gross"/"family first"-and-whatnot party line but she ended up not having to marry that guy (who now sells indehiscent fruits on television) after some black rapper beat an old man in the race to let her mom be Vice-Secretary of Flag Pins and Machine Guns or something!

But now--just like her mom--she's on TV for absolutely no goddamn reason at all and making people-who-have-functioning-brains' brains hurt!



'Merica!

[NYMag via Movieline]

American Homosexuals to Masturbate to Nudie Pics of Father of Iconic Conservative Republican's Bastard Grandchild

...Just another day in Sodom.

Deliverance

If you liberal city folk who voted for Barack Obama thought that you were happy on November 4th, there's no way in hell that you were as happy as Republican-vice-presidential-candidate's-daughter-impregnator Levi Johnston, who knew then that it was it only a matter of time before he would be freed from the McCain campaign-orchestrated charade of pretending to want to marry that girl he knocked up. And now his chains have been broken.

The Republican lesson? Family values only apply to families of people who win elections.