Heroic Women Dedicated to Proving They Can Celebrate Senseless Brutality as Well as Any Man

Did you know that there was such a thing as the National Women's Football Association? I used to not know that either, but luckily we both do now. It's been around since 2000, and for the first two seasons of its existence it was called the National Women's Football League, until those sexist pigs in the "actual" National Football League successfully pressured the organization to change its name. The NFL is crazy to not want to be associated with the female version of their sport--don't they see how profitable the synergy between the NBA and WNBA is working out for all parties involved? NBA action...it's whatever their slogan might be since people stopped caring after Michael Jordan retired!

But the NWFA is dedicated to proving that they're no half-assed girlie outfit like their cute-shorts-wearing, no-attempting-to-cripple-one-another, basketball-playing counterparts. Thanks to the vibrant and trailblazing leadership of team owners like the Cincinnati Sizzle's former Ickey-Woods-Shuffler and door-to-door meat salesman Ickey Woods--and possibly you--by the time their 2007 season kicks off in 73 days, you'll be saying, "What's a Super Bowl?"

(And then someone will remind you that it's the annual championship game of the NFL, and you'll be like, "Oh, yeah, I enjoy watching that," before resuming your rehabilitation from that head injury you suffered.)