Due to his one-game suspension for elbowing the Spurs' Manu Ginobili in the face during a game last Sunday, Kobe Bryant won't be in attendance when the Lakers play the Knicks tonight, his only chance of the season to play at Madison Square Garden. Kobe had some words to say on the matter...but really, those words could have been about anything.
For example, instead of Madison Square Garden, he could have been talking about a certain hotel room in Eagle, Colorado.... Instead of "playing basketball", he could have been referring another sort of rigorous physical activity....
And instead of his elbow, he could have been talking about his penis.
"I've been waiting to ____ here, it's always been a fun place for me to ____ here, and I'm surprised. Shocked, by it, actually. I unintentionally ______ [that girl]. What do you say, it's a ________. You unintentionally ____ people with _____ every once in a while. ...I haven't seen a precedence for this. There's unintentional _____ that take place in a ________ all the time. I'm blown away by it. It makes no sense."
It does now, Kobe.