Presidential Candidates: They're Just Like Stars!

Either in an effort to make politics appealing to the Us Weekly crowd or because Tuesday was the slowest news day ever, the AP is reporting that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are distant relatives of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, respectively.

Researchers at the New England Historic Genealogical Society (who apparently chose not to comment on the revelation that Obama appears even ruder, now, for declining Pitt's offer to stump for him back in October) found ways to link all three current presidential candidates, including John McCain, to a number of celebrities--from Celine Dion to the Bush family to Jack Kerouac (whom we can all stop mourning for dying young, in that he would have killed himself upon learning of his tangentially shared heritage with Hillary Clinton). One might find that if one traces the candidates' lineages back to the dawn of time, they're pretty much related to everyone.

It's almost as if all human beings are of the same species. Far out.