A Manny Apart

Completing a transaction they started five years ago, on Thursday, the Boston Red Sox parted ways with Manny Ramirez.

The superstar slugger is off to where all modern-era Red Sox heroes have gone to die--the Los Angeles Dodgers--as part of a three-way trade including the Pittsburgh Pirates that brings outfielder Jason Bay to Boston.

As a Red Sox fan, even if Manny is the cause of the Red Sox' current suckitude, as many people believe, I am very sad to see him go. As a resident of Los Angeles and a frequent Dodger game-attendee, on the other hand, I have to admit that Dodger Stadium might be a perfect fit for a player of Ramirez's temperament:

The average visitor to shows up to games 3 innings late and leaves 3 innings early, is more interested in bouncing colorful balls around than he is in paying attention to the game, and--in many cases--speaks in broken English that makes everything he says sound adorable to all the white people he secretly hates.

Farewell, Manuel Aristides Ramirez; thanks for the two World Series titles and the years of amusingly inexplicable behavior.

Now go be Manny--although significantly less so--somewhere else.