Josh Duhamel Is Smartalicious

If you choose to participate in cloying puff pieces that are nothing but terribly disguised promotions for Michael Bay "films", you might not come off looking as...let's say, scholarly...as you might have wanted to.

Example: Josh Duhamel--whose relationship with Fergie the AP story in question calls "a match made in Hollywood heaven with hot looks to match their hot careers" [Ed. note: Person who wrote the AP story, how do you sleep at night?]. The most colorful term he can come up with to describe his (lovely) lady (lumps) is "a real total star", in the process smashing two awkwardly-paired superlatives together like one imagines Optimus Prime collides with Megatron in the upcoming Paramount Pictures action movie Transformers, which I understand opens July 3.

Showing boldness on the level of the Autobot Ironhide, the 35-year-old Duhamel goes on to categorize the 27-year-old Ryan Gosling as an "actor [his] age", and explains that his career motivation stems from a need to "prove [him]self to be more than what people think they see"...in other words, more than meets the eye.

"People don't know what you're capable of until you actually do it," Duhamel remarks. And he's absolutely right...for now I know that Josh Duhamel is not capable of giving interviews.

Also: Transformers, Transformers, Transformers.