Monday, June 11, 2007

Side Effects May Include Dance Fever

Two years after the British revealed the possibility (along with the possibility of all kinds of other crazy shit), the Pentagon has confirmed to a CBS affiliate in Berkley, California that in 1994 the U.S. military proposed to build a so-called "Gay Bomb" that would defeat enemy combatants by making them want to have sex with one another.

While a Department of Defense spokesperson insists that the proposal (which included such patriotism-stirring verbiage as "One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior") was immediately dismissed, Edward Hammond, a member of a Berkeley watchdog organization that tracks government spending who uncovered the information via the Freedom of Information Act, believes otherwise. He stated that "the Pentagon has used [the 'Gay Bomb' proposal] repeatedly and subsequently in an effort to promote non-lethal weapons, and in fact they submitted it to the highest scientific review body in the country for them to consider."

I'm no military strategist, but you know what I bet the next weapon the Pentagon tries to invent will be? A bomb that destroys the Freedom of Information Act. Then, if that fails, maybe an invisibility potion that everyone can use on themselves so that they can hide in a corner and cry uncontrollably. That's certainly what I would do.

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