BEGIN LIES:
Have you heard the one about the crazy astronaut lady who drove 900 miles in a diaper to try to kill another lady who was into another astronaut that the crazy lady was also into? Of course you have.And in a development that should surprise absolutely no one (Defamer is already days ahead of the curve in narrowing down prospective casting choices), the film rights to Lisa Marie Nowak's story have been optioned [Ed. note: dead link]--specifically, the film rights to a New York Times article about Lisa Marie Nowak's story, written by John Schwartz. The production company who ponied up an undisclosed sum for the piece is Granada America--yes, the Granada America, producers of such legendary made-for-TV fare as the Jason Priestly vehicle I Want to Marry Ryan Banks and The Twelve Days of Christmas Eve, starring Molly Shannon. They have gone on record as saying that the story will be developed "either for a feature or television film".
If Granada America actually believes that The Stalker Wore Space Underpants: The Lisa Marie Nowak Story will ever see the inside of a multiplex--as opposed to the living rooms of proud, NASA-supporting Americans, where it rightfully belongs--they certainly are shooting for the moon.
Get it? The moon? That's where astronauts have gone on occasion!
END LIES.
Once the original link reporting this news had vanished, I was compelled to inquire further, and found this. Apparently, The New York Times is saying that neither the newspaper nor John Schwartz has or plans a deal with Granada. Damn you, lying producers of "But Can They Sing?"!
UPDATE (02/11/07): John Schwartz, the very man who wrote the New York Times article at this center of this story, has been kind enough to comment on this post and further clarify the matter. As you can see in his explanation of how this false report ever got out in the first place (his second comment--the fifth one down), he's taking the fact that his name and reputation were used in a big fat lie on the part of Granada America with more grace and maturity than I would have. Maybe that's why he writes for one of the most respected publications in the world and I often spent large portions of weekdays in pajama pants.
3 comments:
If that's not true, what about the report I heard today that now the husband of a veteran actor claims he is the father of Anna Nicole's baby?
I am so glad we still have access to you, Johnny, and the inside scoop to all that is not really a scoop. Without you, I would have been on the edge of the couch, waiting for that film.
(Please tell us now if you are the father of Anna Nicole's baby, or if you have been contacted by Maury to come for your your paternity test. I'd like to pencil the air date in on my calendar so I don't accidentally watch The View instead.)
Thanks for commenting, Mr. Schwartz (and bringing some very much undeserved New York Times class to this otherwise puerile blog). Have you had any contact with Granada America inquiring as to their excuse for making this up? They ought to have apologized to you personally.
Post a Comment