Kansas First State to Achieve Time Travel; Joins Rest of Country in 21st Century

Dorothy's not in Kansas anymore, and neither is God.

At least he's no longer superseding science in the state's classrooms, anyway, as the Kansas Board of Education has finally--after being the laughing stock of the country for refusing to move their thinking out of the Dark Ages for, well, pretty much ever--approved new evolution-oriented science standards for the state's public schools ("new" being relative to Kansas, as most people with the capacity for thought and reason have been on board the evolution train for the past century-and-a-half or so, going back to when Charles Darwin published The Origin of Species). The curriculum will replace the most recent ass-backwards mode of belief that had been officially sanctioned by the board--the "intelligent design" theory that was put into practice in 2005 (and is, contrary to its name, most stringently maintained by morons...like our president).

So congratulations, Kansas, and welcome to the future.

(By the way...God is going to be so pissed at you guys. When the Rapture comes next week, you're totally not invited! Suckers!)